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    • CommentAuthorJoe
    • CommentTimeJul 28th, 2008 1:37pm (Jul 28th 2008)
     
    Cake i was really sad then until i got to the end that's funny! :bigsmile:
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJul 28th, 2008 6:18pm (Jul 28th 2008)
     
    Man's dog was ill and died, so he took it to a vet. 'Cure it,' he said.
    'I can't, it's dead.'
    'Are you sure? I want to know definitively.'
    Vet calls a big labrador in who sniffs the dead dog, shakes his head and goes out of the room.
    'See? Dead.'
    'I still think he might be alive.'
    Vet calls in a big tabby, who sniffs the dog all over, then looks at the vet, shakes his head and goes out.
    'All right. I believe you. How much?'
    'Three hundred quid.'
    'For telling me my dog's dead???'
    'And for the lab report and cat scan...'
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeJul 28th, 2008 6:19pm (Jul 28th 2008)
     
    :rolling:
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeJul 28th, 2008 7:25pm (Jul 28th 2008)
     
    LOL. Good jokes women.

    Sorry about Judy, Kate. She sounds like a wonderful dog.
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeJul 28th, 2008 10:01pm (Jul 28th 2008)
     
    Thanks folks, those jokes were, er, old!!! But still made me giggle.

    My son's favourite: Two monkeys in a bath. First monkey says "oo oo, ah ah", second monkey says "if its too hot put more cold water in".
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeJul 28th, 2008 10:01pm (Jul 28th 2008)
     
    Joe Pasquale joke. Funny though.:D
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeJul 28th, 2008 10:03pm (Jul 28th 2008)
     
    I heard it AGES before he used it - can't remember where from. Danny's 21 tomorrow and I told it him when he was about 5 and he's always remembered it. Suppose it could've been his (JPs) originally - who knows.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJul 28th, 2008 10:04pm (Jul 28th 2008)
     
    We've always called hot baths 'monkey baths'!
    Two snowmen in a field. One says 'Can you smell carrots?'
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeJul 28th, 2008 10:07pm (Jul 28th 2008)
     
    Heard that one before. :D
    •  
      CommentAuthorTori
    • CommentTimeJul 29th, 2008 10:59am (Jul 29th 2008)
     
    What do you get when you give a bomb to a monkey ??

    a baboom !! heehhehehee
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeJul 29th, 2008 12:52pm (Jul 29th 2008)
     
    hehe!:D
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJul 29th, 2008 5:43pm (Jul 29th 2008)
     
    Two parrots on a perch. One says 'Can you smell fish?'
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeJul 29th, 2008 6:28pm (Jul 29th 2008)
     
    :D Funny, Vicki & CC.
    •  
      CommentAuthorwazza
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 5:11am (Aug 1st 2008) edited
     

    no longer a member

    Why do mums refere to thier babies age by weeks when they are so young... and at what age do they suddenly become eligable to have their age mentioned in Months, then in years??????
    •  
      CommentAuthornancy
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 12:18pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     
    probaby after 20 months because the math might be too difficult for some to handle ;)
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 3:12pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    With my little cousins it tended to be up to 12 weeks, then suddenly they were no longer however many weeks old, they were however many months old.

    After a year they were referred to as "1 year old" and yet at 1 1/2 years it was suddenly 18 months...how confusing :confused:
    •  
      CommentAuthornancy
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 3:22pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     
    Its probably because of the strange hormones mothers have to deal with:|
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 3:23pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    They always think their baby's the cutest thing ever, too.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 4:27pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     
    I have a question: Does anyone know what the temperature is in Prague in November?
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 7:31pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    Ace, it's around 0*c I think. Highest average temp is about 2*c...make sure you wrap up warm! :tongue:
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 7:57pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     
    I dunno, Wazza; I don't go near 'em till they're at least 25...
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 8:33pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     
    Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna have to wear LOTS of jumpers!:D
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 8:39pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     
    And your mittens and a scarf and a hat...better get knitting, girl! :)
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 9:07pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     
    I don't know how to knit though!:D
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeAug 1st, 2008 11:08pm (Aug 1st 2008)
     
    Caitlyn was talked about in weeks til she got to about 22 weeks, then she was 'nearly 6 months'. Now we talk in months. And SHE is the cutest baby ever - those other mothers are wrong Red!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd, 2008 2:36am (Aug 2nd 2008)
     
    Ace, you've got three months to learn. Ask Kate for instructions and guidance, she's the Expert; she created The Blanket!!
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd, 2008 5:32am (Aug 2nd 2008) edited
     
    THE BLANKET !!! :heart:
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd, 2008 7:57am (Aug 2nd 2008) edited
     
    Aw yes..THE BLANKET!!!!! :heartbounce:
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd, 2008 4:28pm (Aug 2nd 2008)
     
    The blanket - which is used on a daily basis and is apparently Caitlyn's favourite!!! [puffs up with pride]!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd, 2008 5:43pm (Aug 2nd 2008)
     
    The child is exhibiting signs of Good Taste...
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd, 2008 8:05pm (Aug 2nd 2008) edited
     

    Keeper of the hens

    The Blanket inspired me to learn how to knit, actually. Sadly i'm still absolutely terrible at it :)
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd, 2008 10:16pm (Aug 2nd 2008)
     
    You're probably still far better than me...I can only knit blood-stained triangles!
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 12:17pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    :rolling:
    I can do the actual knitting, it's just when i go wrong I never know how to fix it so i just carry on regardless...then i end up with a square of wonky knitting with millions of holes in it!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 1:21pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    I get crosser and crosser and it gets tighter and tighter until it's a triangle. And I usually manage to stab myself, despite knitting needles being blunt...:\
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 5:56pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    Everyone starts like that - you need to persevere. I'm self-taught - being a left-hander I knit in the opposite direction so my mom couldn't teach me.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 6:08pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    No, it's rude to knit. When the shops go to such trouble to stock jumpers, it's impolite not to buy 'em.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 8:05pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    LOL - what's the term for this kind of logic? Can't remember... *Backwards,* isn't it? :P
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 8:21pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    No, it's MY logic. :D
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 9:20pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    Random question: What is Kate going to do to us when she sees all the new posts since her last visit? (Or Lynn, or Ollie, or Nancy, and so on...)
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 9:23pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    What about Vicki!:D
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 9:30pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    They'll be reading for WEEKS.Serves 'em right for going AWOL.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 9:31pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    See i don't even know what AWOL means. Please explain.
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 11:07pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    Absent without leave. Its what they used to say soldiers did during the war when they ran away.

    You two have been busy. I was relieved when I got back from my hols that there weren't hundreds of messages - but there will be for Vicki! Good job she's got the school hols to catch up!
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd, 2008 11:09pm (Aug 3rd 2008)
     
    Thanks Kate.;)
    • CommentAuthorollie in UK
    • CommentTimeAug 4th, 2008 10:11am (Aug 4th 2008)
     
    I took my laptop on holiday with me so read all the posts every day.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 4th, 2008 5:53pm (Aug 4th 2008)
     
    Cunning plan, Baldrick! :D
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 4th, 2008 6:48pm (Aug 4th 2008)
     
    Yes - Ollie's a clever one.

    I left Vicki out because I assumed she would be expecting it Ace. :) But you are right. We have been very active recently. She's probably going to be shocked!
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 4th, 2008 7:32pm (Aug 4th 2008)
     
    No she won't. She loves reading our posts!
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 12:38am (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    Good thing!
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 1:18pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    Um...who's Baldrick?? :o
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 1:33pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    Baldrick is the tramp guy out of Black Adder.;)
    •  
      CommentAuthorwazza
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 4:47pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     

    no longer a member

    he is an awsome geezer Hail BALDRICK
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 5:47pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    He's Wazza's role model. JOKE!! JOKE!!! Don't chase my car!!!
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 5:48pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    Lol CC.:rolling:
    • CommentAuthorCake
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 6:48pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    I have a cunning plan m'lord. So cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!!
    Yes, we love Baldrick!!:clap:
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 6:51pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    :rolling: Classic.:cheer:
    • CommentAuthorCake
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 7:13pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    cool. think of some more.. anyone remember more? I am struggling to piece one together
    • CommentAuthorCake
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 7:20pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    ooh, theres the bullet one...What are you doing baldrick?
    I'm carving my name on this bullet.
    Why?
    Well, you know they say there is a bullet with your name on somewhere, well I reckon if I have that bullet then I wont shoot myself. The chance of there being 2 bullets with my name on is very small indeed.
    Yes, and thats not the only thing thats very small indeed is it?
    Then summat about if we cracked open your head there wouldnt be enuff in it to cover a water biscuit.
    Ah, v. funny.
    Cake shuts up!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 7:30pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    Noooo, carry on...I like it! :)
    • CommentAuthorCake
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 8:13pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    Aw CC, you are as funny as a vegetable that has grown into a rude and amusing shape!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 9:45pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    :crazy:
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeAug 5th, 2008 10:54pm (Aug 5th 2008)
     
    Yes, Baldrick is great. I loved all the Blackadder episodes - the last ones are quite sad though where they're in the trenches and go over the top. Wasn't there one where Baldrick was doing the cooking and makes ratatouille - enough for everyone because there are plenty of rats to make it from.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 6th, 2008 7:23am (Aug 6th 2008)
     
    Baldrick is our hero.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 6th, 2008 10:48am (Aug 6th 2008)
     
    All hail Baldrick.:whorship:
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 6th, 2008 12:36pm (Aug 6th 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    Ah that would explain it, i've never seen Blackadder
    •  
      CommentAuthorAce
    • CommentTimeAug 6th, 2008 12:39pm (Aug 6th 2008)
     
    You should watch it. Its really funny.;)
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 6th, 2008 7:27pm (Aug 6th 2008)
     
    Oh - gotta see it Red! Have you seen Mr Bean?
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 7th, 2008 1:24pm (Aug 7th 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    Yep, me and my older cousin used to love watching Mr Bean when we were little. Gone off him now though (the new episodes aren't as funny) and find him slightly annoying :)
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 7th, 2008 2:10pm (Aug 7th 2008)
     
    The one of him changing on the beach was the best one ever...:D
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 11th, 2008 3:31am (Aug 11th 2008)
     
    My lawn mower has (well, had - I just pulled it off) a gizmo that consists of series of pulleys and wheels that wrap around the mower motor and drive the thing so that the mower pulls itself along if I keep a lever pulled down. Well, used to.

    Anyway - last week the motor suddenly started going counter-clockwise (versus its usual clockwise.) Since lawn mowers shouldn't drive in verse when you are standing behind them - this ground the mower to a halt.

    So: What would cause a unidirectional motor to suddenly reverse direction?
    • CommentAuthorollie in UK
    • CommentTimeAug 11th, 2008 9:46am (Aug 11th 2008)
     
    I had one did that but it was an electric. Seems one of the resistors, or was it a transistor, had bust and sent the circuit the wrong way round.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 11th, 2008 7:00pm (Aug 11th 2008)
     
    Ah! I knew it had to be something rational Ollie. Either that or it was possessed by demons. Thanks for clearing that up!!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 11th, 2008 7:20pm (Aug 11th 2008)
     
    Are you sure it's not a bungled murder attempt from Mystery Weekend??:007:
    • CommentAuthorollie in UK
    • CommentTimeAug 11th, 2008 8:11pm (Aug 11th 2008)
     
    You could walk backwards, it may not notice. Or even work it from behind...
    Anyway, I found mine didn't cut the grass when it went backwards, just stroked it. Aww, bless....
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 11th, 2008 9:03pm (Aug 11th 2008)
     
    Yah - the blades aren't sharp on that edge, as I think about it. Anyway, when I removed all the wheels and pulleys and other greasy things that made up the mechanism that actually drives the mower - the problem went away. Now I have to push it with my own muscles. Oddly, it takes less effort. Maybe all the wheels and pulleys actually put up resistance... AND it seems to be using less gas (oops, petrol.)

    Hmmm. Whole new and interesting question, CC.
    • CommentAuthorCake
    • CommentTimeAug 23rd, 2008 1:04pm (Aug 23rd 2008)
     
    Sounds like you need to get a goat Diane! hee hee
    • CommentAuthorJanice Sansing
    • CommentTimeAug 23rd, 2008 11:14pm (Aug 23rd 2008)
     
    I had a friend come back from California to visit our hometown and she told my mom that she was in the honeywagon business. We assumed that with her lovely appearance and friendly personality that she worked for a committee that welcomed new families to town, much like Welcome Wagon. I decided to google" honeywagon "and was surprised to find out that it is a service that cleans out portable potties and those sewage things in RVs and portable dressing rooms. Bless her heart, let's hope she is well paid. That is one of those funny "Merkin " words. Also, there have been some cute ads on television that have alot of annoying sounds but a rooster that is silent and a message Silenceyourrooster.com I will not spoil it for you... check it out and find out what they are selling. Can you guess what it is ?
    •  
      CommentAuthornancy
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 2:15am (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    OMG! I saw the same advertisment here in Canada!! It bothered me so much so I finally took the time to check it out. Now we are the sole knowers of the ad:slingshot:
    • CommentAuthorollie in UK
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 10:55am (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    Now I have come across places with a 'Honey bucket' in situations where there is no local convenience. eg., remote garden areas.
    Lorry drivers will have a large bottle with the same name.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 1:39pm (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    We know the lorry that cleans out the cess pits as the lavender lorry...
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 2:02pm (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    I've never heard any of those terms! What an awful job to have. I'm not surprised they give it a nice-sounding name!
    • CommentAuthorollie in UK
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 3:32pm (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    Aw Kate, such an innocent life you've had!
    •  
      CommentAuthorJonny
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 4:44pm (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    We had one of those honey-buckets in Whitehorse. Too chilly at -35 to go to the out-house.

    I did do it when it was "warmer" (-20). The seat of the biffy had styrofoam (the house-insulating type) on it, so it was quite warm on the tushy. And the stars..ooooh!
    • CommentAuthorollie in UK
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 5:19pm (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    No such thing as styrofoam on our outside facility when I was a kiddie in the Welsh mountains hiding from the WW11 bombs.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 8:28pm (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    Ollie - you ARE writing book about all your experiences, aren't you? Truly amazing.
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 8:30pm (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    Honeybucket is a brand name. Porta-potties are really common here - at music festivals, extra service for ... over loaded parks, set up at construction projects for the crew, ect.
    • CommentAuthorollie in UK
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 8:41pm (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    Now I didn't know someone had taken 'Honeybucket' and made it a commercial product. Good thinking.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 24th, 2008 8:57pm (Aug 24th 2008)
     
    I call 'em Plastic Privies...
    • CommentAuthorCake
    • CommentTimeAug 25th, 2008 12:03pm (Aug 25th 2008)
     
    We used to have polystyrene roof tiles in the kitchen at home when i was little. Every time (and believe me, it happened regularly) the chip pan caught fire they were deadly! Got taken out of the house in my jammys on more than one occasion! hee hee. Ah the things we remember!
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 25th, 2008 1:57pm (Aug 25th 2008) edited
     

    Keeper of the hens

    Random questions...

    1) Are cows actually colour blind? Does anybody know? :confused:

    2) Can you text the emergency services, as oppose to ringing them? Like, could you send a text to 999 saying 'i'm being burgled and can't phone up, send the police, my address is blah blah blah'? Wazza, do you know?

    Just curious...
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 25th, 2008 4:23pm (Aug 25th 2008)
     
    I sometimes worry about you, Red...:)
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 25th, 2008 4:37pm (Aug 25th 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    Why?! What've i said now...?? :P
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 25th, 2008 5:32pm (Aug 25th 2008)
     
    :loco:Spending your Bank Holiday worrying about whether cows can send colour text messages to the police... :)
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 25th, 2008 8:59pm (Aug 25th 2008)
     
    :rofl:
    •  
      CommentAuthorwazza
    • CommentTimeAug 26th, 2008 7:01am (Aug 26th 2008)
     

    no longer a member

    Hmmmmmm we do have A SPECIAL PHONE FOR THE DEAF.... BY THE TIME YOU WRITE OUT A TEXT I guess you have been murdered and your house emptiied so no... to sending us a text... you can send an e-mail though
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 26th, 2008 9:30am (Aug 26th 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    What good is that if you're being burgled - they'll have the computer!!
    • CommentAuthorollie in UK
    • CommentTimeAug 26th, 2008 9:59am (Aug 26th 2008)
     
    I thought that the other day, What use is my CCTV? The bu.g..rs will have taken that too!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeAug 26th, 2008 1:31pm (Aug 26th 2008)
     
    You could rap out S...O...S in Morse code on the burglar's head with a rounders bat...:_oh_really:
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeAug 28th, 2008 4:47pm (Aug 28th 2008)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    We haven't got a rounders bat :( I have three guard chickens...sadly they sleep outside and are locked up at night :-\

    My friend has electronic key cards instead of keys...they're pretty cool, but if you go out of the house and the door shuts behind you (and you've left the key card inside) the door locks the instant it closes so you're stuck out there!
    •  
      CommentAuthorDianeonWhidbey
    • CommentTimeAug 28th, 2008 5:55pm (Aug 28th 2008)
     
    Rounder's bat? The vanillacon is clearly holding a baseball bat.

    That sounds like one of those modern safety systems that actually creates a hazard, Red...