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    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeSep 15th, 2009 8:35pm (Sep 15th 2009) edited
     
    Posted By: Trevs MumWhat do you call a cat who ate a duck?

    a duck-filled-fatty-puss!


    I Love this one, Julie!!!
      laughingface.gif
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeSep 16th, 2009 5:47am (Sep 16th 2009)
     
    Now that is what I call a big smile Lynn , love it.

    I have seen a platypuss here in the wild and also at the zoo, they are much smaller than you would eexpect, dear little creatures, busily swimming aaround and looking for food.
    • CommentAuthorvolka
    • CommentTimeSep 16th, 2009 2:41pm (Sep 16th 2009)
     
    MAN: Doctor, I'm having trouble making decisions. When I think too hard about a problem, I just end up going round in circles.

    DOCTOR: Can you give me an example?

    MAN: Well, yesterday, I went out to the garden to sweep up the leaves and found my broom had broken. I couldn't work out if the brush had come off the handle, or the handle had come off the brush. And if the brush had come off the handle, do I need to get a new brush, or if the handle had come off the brush, should I get a new handle? What to you think the problem is?

    DOCTOR: I think you've got a screw loose.
    • CommentAuthorShobhna
    • CommentTimeSep 18th, 2009 2:15pm (Sep 18th 2009)
     
    excellent. :-)
    • CommentAuthorhqtrev
    • CommentTimeOct 24th, 2009 1:51am (Oct 24th 2009)
     
    "knock knock"....
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeOct 24th, 2009 5:45am (Oct 24th 2009)
     
    Posted By: hqtrev"knock knock"....

    Who's there?
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeOct 24th, 2009 5:29pm (Oct 24th 2009)
     
    Trev is - it said so at the top...
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeOct 25th, 2009 8:59am (Oct 25th 2009)
     
    come on Trev we are waaaaiiiiting for it!
    • CommentAuthorhqtrev
    • CommentTimeOct 25th, 2009 11:04pm (Oct 25th 2009) edited
     
    ..... "Hatch"
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeOct 25th, 2009 11:40pm (Oct 25th 2009)
     
    hatch who?
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeOct 25th, 2009 11:41pm (Oct 25th 2009)
     
    oh yes of course!!!
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeOct 26th, 2009 5:05am (Oct 26th 2009)
     
    It's cold and flu season now isn't it?:rollonfloorlaughing:
    • CommentAuthorvolka
    • CommentTimeOct 26th, 2009 9:53am (Oct 26th 2009)
     
    Man goes to doctor and says:

    "Doctor, when I stand up to quickly, my head starts spinning and I keep seeing Mickey Mouse in a wizard's hat. What's wrong?"

    Doctor replies:

    "You're suffering from Disney spells."
    •  
      CommentAuthorRed
    • CommentTimeOct 26th, 2009 11:35am (Oct 26th 2009)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    Something for people to laugh at today:

    Lyle set an alarm for 7:19am on his phone as I had a 9am lecture. Alarm goes off this morning and I drag myself out of bed and have a FREEZING cold shower. I shiver my way back into the room and he looks at me, grinning, and says "Oh Scarlet, you have an extra hour...I forgot to turn my clock back!"

    Scarlet explodes.
    :rolling:
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeOct 26th, 2009 12:54pm (Oct 26th 2009)
     
    Isn't it just too cruel, we forgot to turn clocks forward once once and took our sons to sunday school. Got a phone call as soon as we got home that it was already finished and could we come and collect them. Werent we the sillies!:confused:
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeOct 26th, 2009 6:05pm (Oct 26th 2009)
     
    When I got to my first job at ten this morning, they'd been waiting for me since 8am. They'd been to Zurich for trhe weekend and what with al the clock-changing entailed in Going Abroad, got completely confused and ended up 2 hours ahead...
    • CommentAuthorollie in UK
    • CommentTimeOct 26th, 2009 6:49pm (Oct 26th 2009)
     
    Re time changes -
    I phoned Hubby from Kings Cross (London) to say I was back in UK from Japan.
    He was not expecting me till the next day
    I had crossed a date line...
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeOct 26th, 2009 7:46pm (Oct 26th 2009)
     
    Bet that caught him on the hop - did he get the house cleaned up in time from all the raucous parties?:)
    I heard a woman on local radio saying that she'd seen people off from Luton airport and then caught the bus home to Milton Keynes and it was held up by roadworks or an accident or something. While she was still on the bus, she got a call on her yuppiephone from the people she'd seen off to say they were back home in Amsterdam...:\
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeOct 26th, 2009 10:18pm (Oct 26th 2009)
     
    My brother in law changed his clock but put it forward an hour by mistake! He was up at 6.30am on Sunday morning!
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeOct 27th, 2009 4:11am (Oct 27th 2009)
     
    Don't you just hate the time changes, we set our clocks back next Sunday..I know I'll goof it up ..I always do somehow.
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeOct 29th, 2009 6:47pm (Oct 29th 2009)
     
    At least the chicken are more happy at my hubby letting them out in the morning, Isnt so dark for them one hour later.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeOct 29th, 2009 8:31pm (Oct 29th 2009)
     
    Makes up for summer when Onion starts crowing at 4am...thank God for sound deadening!
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeOct 29th, 2009 8:36pm (Oct 29th 2009)
     
    no way my chicken called onion, sage died..
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeOct 29th, 2009 8:41pm (Oct 29th 2009)
     
    My first two were Sage & Onion but the fox got Sage...:( Now I have Livia & Onion...and Littlebeak.
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeOct 29th, 2009 9:11pm (Oct 29th 2009)
     
    charlotte says it was onion that died, sage is ok.
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd, 2009 4:15pm (Nov 22nd 2009) edited
     
    Farmers snooze button
      17OctOddDM1110_600x191aa.jpg
      17OctOddDM1110_600x191bbbb.jpg
      17OctOddDM1110_600x191cccccc.jpg
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeNov 22nd, 2009 10:23pm (Nov 22nd 2009)
     
    nice1
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeNov 27th, 2009 9:04pm (Nov 27th 2009)
     
    Pete was in the pub yesterday when he suddenly realized he desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so he timed his farts with the beat.

    After a couple of songs, He started to feel better. He finished his pint and noticed that everybody was staring at him.

    Then he suddenly remembered that he was listening to his iPod.
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeNov 28th, 2009 7:25am (Nov 28th 2009)
     
    <blockquote><cite>Posted By: nanny north</cite>Then he suddenly remembered that he was listening to his iPod.</blockquote>

    :lol:Waaaaahahaha..
    • CommentAuthorTracyB
    • CommentTimeNov 28th, 2009 2:33pm (Nov 28th 2009)
     
    Excellent, I got a really good visual from your description, made me laugh loads. :rofl:
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeNov 28th, 2009 6:04pm (Nov 28th 2009)
     
    :rolling:
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeDec 2nd, 2009 10:33am (Dec 2nd 2009)
     
    just brill.
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeDec 16th, 2009 7:22pm (Dec 16th 2009)
     
    Maria went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.' What denomination?' asked the clerk. 'Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?' said Maria, 'Well give me 50 Methodist and 50 Church of England ones please.'
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeDec 16th, 2009 9:47pm (Dec 16th 2009)
     
    LOL!!! Love it NN!!
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeDec 17th, 2009 7:40pm (Dec 17th 2009)
     
    Remember the advent calender's we had as kids, well here is an adult version enjoy ha ha
      advent_calendar.jpg
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeDec 18th, 2009 11:50am (Dec 18th 2009)
     
    ha ha ha love it NN!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeDec 18th, 2009 7:13pm (Dec 18th 2009)
     
    Good one...where can I get one?? :)
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeDec 18th, 2009 10:12pm (Dec 18th 2009)
     
    that's so cool.
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeDec 20th, 2009 6:48pm (Dec 20th 2009)
     
    Good King Wenceslas phoned for a pizza.
    The salesgirl asked him, 'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?'
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeDec 20th, 2009 8:08pm (Dec 20th 2009)
     
    Groan!! :rolling:
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeDec 21st, 2009 7:35pm (Dec 21st 2009)
     
    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

    Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

    We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeDec 21st, 2009 10:49pm (Dec 21st 2009)
     
    NN You are so funny and SO RIGHT!
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeDec 22nd, 2009 6:56am (Dec 22nd 2009)
     
    <blockquote><cite>Posted By: nanny north</cite><div class="Bubble"><div><div><div><div><div>Good King Wenceslas phoned for a pizza.
    The salesgirl asked him, 'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?'</div></div></div></div></div></div></blockquote>

    Waaaaahaha...Love it! :rollonfloorlaughing:
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeDec 22nd, 2009 6:41pm (Dec 22nd 2009)
     
    Re the reindeer; Diane can enlighten you on that one...
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeDec 23rd, 2009 7:44pm (Dec 23rd 2009)
     
    Santa parks on the rough side of town
      santa_park.jpg
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeDec 23rd, 2009 9:03pm (Dec 23rd 2009)
     
    whoops
      santa_elf_safety1.jpg
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeDec 23rd, 2009 9:46pm (Dec 23rd 2009)
     
    Why has Rudolph got a red nose and the others have brown ones?
    Because Rudolph brakes too hard...
    :tooth:
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeDec 24th, 2009 1:00pm (Dec 24th 2009) edited
     
    Ha ha thats a good one CC
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeDec 24th, 2009 7:50pm (Dec 24th 2009)
     
    xx
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeDec 24th, 2009 7:56pm (Dec 24th 2009) edited
     
    ohhh noooo that my nose
      snowman_deer.jpg
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 1st, 2010 7:10pm (Jan 1st 2010)
     
    about time we had another joke
      01JanOddDM2712_600x194.jpg
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 5th, 2010 7:24pm (Jan 5th 2010) edited
     
    here is todays offering
      05JanStripDM0301_600x171 (Small).jpg
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 8th, 2010 8:05pm (Jan 8th 2010)
     
    What is a Rabbits favourite car.....Well they don't mind really as long as it is a hutchback
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeJan 8th, 2010 9:41pm (Jan 8th 2010)
     
    he he he !
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeJan 8th, 2010 11:14pm (Jan 8th 2010)
     
    What do you call a horse crossed with Night Rider? David Hassellhoof.
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 9th, 2010 11:30am (Jan 9th 2010)
     
    Ha ha ha thats a good um Kate.

    what did the fish say when it bumped into a concrete wall ? ............Dam
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 10th, 2010 3:38pm (Jan 10th 2010)
     
    Something a bit different for a change


    Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

    The average person can't.

    This is this cat.
    This is is cat.
    This is how cat.
    This is to cat.
    This is keep cat.
    This is a cat.
    This is dumbass cat.
    This is busy cat.
    This is for cat.
    This is forty cat.
    This is seconds cat.

    Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top.
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeJan 10th, 2010 3:41pm (Jan 10th 2010)
     
    Kept me busy!!!!!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 10th, 2010 4:06pm (Jan 10th 2010)
     
    ...not for forty seconds though! That WOPULD be 'dumbarse'!
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 10th, 2010 5:00pm (Jan 10th 2010)
     
    Ha ha thats right CC but we all read at different speeds so gotta cater for all.
    • CommentAuthorRonald
    • CommentTimeJan 10th, 2010 6:49pm (Jan 10th 2010)
     
    Little birds on a power line.
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 10th, 2010 8:34pm (Jan 10th 2010)
     
    Thats a nice little clip Ronald and sure made me smile, thanks for sharing.
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeJan 10th, 2010 11:55pm (Jan 10th 2010)
     
    :D
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeJan 11th, 2010 12:45am (Jan 11th 2010)
     
    ha ha NN that is a godoy.

    Ronald that is one of my fav short animations of ALL time, I know, I know, silly things amuse me though! Saw it at the cinema a few years back prior to the main movie, its a PIXAR animation , they do brilliant work with full length movies too don't they?.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 11th, 2010 3:11pm (Jan 11th 2010)
     
    :rolling:
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 11th, 2010 6:02pm (Jan 11th 2010)
     
    tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night.

    The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you!"

    The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, "How many times?
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 11th, 2010 8:01pm (Jan 11th 2010)
     
    :D
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 7:31pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    Ronald That bird clip was so funny my kids loved it. I loved all the jokes. Ive missed so much on here.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 7:35pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    Keep up, Sara! :)
    • CommentAuthorTracyB
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 7:36pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    Thanks for that clip Ronald - I saw that once when I went to see Monsters Inc and loved it - haven't seen it since. Excellent
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 7:37pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    It's brilliant - I wish I could see it full screen...
    • CommentAuthorTracyB
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 7:50pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    I remember that little film more than I do Monsters Inc.
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 8:00pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    Monster inc is great,
    I have that tv thing where you can record channels, So over christmas and new year.
    I went though the channels and recorded every film i could find, So the kids could watch them anytime and not miss any, I still have some they havent watched, Saves buying a film..
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 8:03pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    Good idea, Sara. The DVDs are expensive, aren't they?
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 8:06pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    Yes i bought one and they wanted it back two days later, Im sure it used to be a week.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 8:07pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    I haven't got a video or DVD thing. When this telly dies, we'll get one with a DVD inside it.
    • CommentAuthorsara
    • CommentTimeJan 12th, 2010 8:13pm (Jan 12th 2010)
     
    I have that sky plus thing. so you get about 237373773733907665 channels but never anything really good to watch hehehh
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 14th, 2010 8:29pm (Jan 14th 2010)
     
    In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 14th, 2010 8:35pm (Jan 14th 2010)
     
    Now very true!:)
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 14th, 2010 8:38pm (Jan 14th 2010)
     
    froggies
      cartoon12.jpg
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeJan 16th, 2010 9:10pm (Jan 16th 2010)
     
    Now that your snow is going away.
      ATT01246.jpg
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeJan 17th, 2010 12:32am (Jan 17th 2010)
     
    That is so appropriate!!!!!

    The bad news is that there is more forecast for Wednesday (don't read that Neil!)
    • CommentAuthorTrevs Mum
    • CommentTimeJan 17th, 2010 12:50am (Jan 17th 2010)
     
    Excellent humour there Lynn!:biggrin:
    • CommentAuthorRonald
    • CommentTimeJan 17th, 2010 5:56pm (Jan 17th 2010)
     
    For the cat lovers and other also.
    http://www.simonscat.com/films.html
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeJan 17th, 2010 10:28pm (Jan 17th 2010)
     
    I love Simon's Cat! I bought the t-shirt at the cat show and saw Simon himself. Didn't speak to him - queue was too long. Had the book for Christmas too - every cat owner can identify with him!
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 18th, 2010 5:57pm (Jan 18th 2010)
     
    The Cat Man Do one made me laugh till I cried, it was so much like our old cat, Trouble!
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 18th, 2010 7:41pm (Jan 18th 2010)
     
    Thank you Roland for the Simons cat films they are just so brilliant. They really made my day. xx
    •  
      CommentAuthorKateb
    • CommentTimeJan 18th, 2010 8:31pm (Jan 18th 2010)
     
    Yes, Foggy does that to my hubby in a morning if he's in bed past 7am. I've taken her baseball bat off her now though ... !
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 18th, 2010 9:00pm (Jan 18th 2010)
     
    Ha ha thats a good one Kate
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 20th, 2010 4:46pm (Jan 20th 2010)
     
    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeJan 20th, 2010 5:53pm (Jan 20th 2010)
     
    Posted By: nanny northGive a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


    :rollonfloorlaughing:I LOVE IT!!
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 22nd, 2010 7:08pm (Jan 22nd 2010)
     
    The energizer Bunny has been arrested and charged with battery.
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeJan 24th, 2010 3:13pm (Jan 24th 2010)
     
    Posted By: nanny northThe energizer Bunny has been arrested and charged with battery.


    Oh NN, that's a really groaner.. :-) Thanks for the giggle.
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 24th, 2010 3:39pm (Jan 24th 2010)
     
    :rolling:
    • CommentAuthorleevaux
    • CommentTimeJan 25th, 2010 8:08pm (Jan 25th 2010)
     
    Very cute !!!
      funny-pictures-surprise-chicken-is-a-little-early.jpg
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 25th, 2010 8:32pm (Jan 25th 2010)
     
    Ha ha thats cute
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 25th, 2010 8:34pm (Jan 25th 2010)
     
    Ahhhhh! :)
    • CommentAuthorLynnW
    • CommentTimeJan 26th, 2010 6:33pm (Jan 26th 2010) edited
     
    Awww ..that's so darling, lee:bigsmile:
    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 26th, 2010 7:19pm (Jan 26th 2010)
     
    A tour bus driver has a bus full of senior citizens. As he’s driving, the bus driver gets tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady.

    She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully eats. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

    When she is about to hand him another batch of peanuts, the bus driver asks the little old lady why she doesn't eat them.
    .
    "We can't chew them because we've got no teeth", she says.

    So, the puzzled driver asks, “Why do you buy them then?"

    The little old lady replies, "We just love the chocolate around them!!"
    • CommentAuthorleevaux
    • CommentTimeJan 26th, 2010 7:22pm (Jan 26th 2010)
     
    brilliant you can just see it nice NN :rofl: