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    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 25th, 2010 9:44pm (Jan 25th 2010)
    Fighter Plane Warranty Card
    McDonnell Douglas

    Important! Important!

    Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase

    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

    1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other

    First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________


    Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc._________________

    2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

    _F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-117A Stealth _Classified

    3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

    4. Serial Number____________________

    5. Please check where this product was purchased:

    _Received as Gift/Aid Package
    _Catalog Showroom
    _Sleazy Arms Broker
    _Mail Order
    _Discount Store
    _Government Surplus

    6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

    _Heard loud noise, looked up
    _Store Display
    _Recommended by friend/relative/ally
    _Political lobbying by Manufacturer
    _Was attacked by one

    7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

    _Recommended by salesperson
    _ McDonnell Douglas Reputation
    _Advanced Weapons Systems
    _Back-Room Politics
    _Negative experience opposing one in combat

    8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

    _North America
    _Central/South America
    _Aircraft Carrier
    _Middle East
    _Asia/Far East
    _Misc. Third-World Countries

    9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:

    Product Own Intend to purchase
    Color TV
    Killer Satellite
    CD Player
    Air-to-Air Missiles
    Space Shuttle
    Home Computer
    Nuclear Weapon

    10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

    _Crazed (Islamic)
    _Crazed (Other)
    _Corrupt (Latin American)
    _Corrupt (Other)

    11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

    _Suitcases of Cocaine
    _Oil Revenues
    _Deficit Spending
    _Personal Check
    _Credit Card
    _Ransom Money
    _Traveler's Check

    12. Occupation You Your Spouse

    Middle Management
    Eccentric Billionaire
    Defense Minister/General

    13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

    Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
    Default on Loans
    Black Market/Smuggling
    Watching Sports on TV
    Household Pets
    Crushing Rebellions
    Fashion Clothing
    Border Disputes
    Mutually Assured Destruction

    Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

    Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

    Marketing Department
    Military Aerospace Division
    P.O. Box 800
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 26th, 2010 5:33pm (Jan 26th 2010)
    • CommentTimeFeb 3rd, 2010 5:17pm (Feb 3rd 2010)

    Keeper of the hens

    How did you become aware of the fighter plane?

    "Heard loud noise, looked up"
    "Was attacked by one"

    - ROFL!
    • CommentAuthorShobhna
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th, 2010 1:42pm (Feb 8th 2010)
    love it. excellent.