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    • CommentAuthornanny north
    • CommentTimeJan 25th, 2010 9:44pm (Jan 25th 2010)
     
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Fighter Plane Warranty Card
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    McDonnell Douglas
    AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES

    Important! Important!

    Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase

    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

    1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other

    First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________

    Latitude________________________Longitude__________________________________

    Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc._________________

    2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

    _F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-117A Stealth _Classified

    3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

    4. Serial Number____________________

    5. Please check where this product was purchased:

    _Received as Gift/Aid Package
    _Catalog Showroom
    _Sleazy Arms Broker
    _Mail Order
    _Discount Store
    _Government Surplus
    _Classified

    6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

    _Heard loud noise, looked up
    _Store Display
    _Espionage
    _Recommended by friend/relative/ally
    _Political lobbying by Manufacturer
    _Was attacked by one

    7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

    _Style/Appearance
    _Kickback/Bribe
    _Recommended by salesperson
    _Speed/Maneuverability
    _Comfort/Convenience
    _ McDonnell Douglas Reputation
    _Advanced Weapons Systems
    _Price/Value
    _Back-Room Politics
    _Negative experience opposing one in combat

    8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

    _North America
    _Central/South America
    _Aircraft Carrier
    _Europe
    _Middle East
    _Africa
    _Asia/Far East
    _Misc. Third-World Countries
    _Classified

    9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:

    Product Own Intend to purchase
    Color TV
    VCR
    ICBM
    Killer Satellite
    CD Player
    Air-to-Air Missiles
    Space Shuttle
    Home Computer
    Nuclear Weapon

    10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

    _Communist/Socialist
    _Terrorist
    _Crazed (Islamic)
    _Crazed (Other)
    _Neutral
    _Democratic
    _Dictatorship
    _Corrupt (Latin American)
    _Corrupt (Other)
    _Primitive/Tribal

    11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

    _Cash
    _Suitcases of Cocaine
    _Oil Revenues
    _Deficit Spending
    _Personal Check
    _Credit Card
    _Ransom Money
    _Traveler's Check

    12. Occupation You Your Spouse

    Homemaker
    Sales/Marketing
    Revolutionary
    Clerical
    Mercenary
    Tyrant
    Middle Management
    Eccentric Billionaire
    Defense Minister/General
    Retired
    Student

    13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

    Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
    Golf
    Boating/Sailing
    Sabotage
    Running/Jogging
    Propaganda/Disinformation
    Destabilizing/Overthrow
    Default on Loans
    Gardening
    Crafts
    Black Market/Smuggling
    Collectibles/Collections
    Watching Sports on TV
    Wines
    Interrogation/Torture
    Household Pets
    Crushing Rebellions
    Espionage/Reconnaissance
    Fashion Clothing
    Border Disputes
    Mutually Assured Destruction

    Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

    Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

    MCDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
    Marketing Department
    Military Aerospace Division
    P.O. Box 800
    •  
      CommentAuthorchief chicken
    • CommentTimeJan 26th, 2010 5:33pm (Jan 26th 2010)
     
    :rolling:
    •  
      CommentAuthorneil
    • CommentTimeFeb 3rd, 2010 5:17pm (Feb 3rd 2010)
     

    Keeper of the hens

    How did you become aware of the fighter plane?

    "Heard loud noise, looked up"
    "Was attacked by one"


    - ROFL!
    • CommentAuthorShobhna
    • CommentTimeFeb 8th, 2010 1:42pm (Feb 8th 2010)
     
    love it. excellent.